the thing is, i don’t want to be good at job hunting. for fear that it will lead to a nightmare eternity of pounding the pavement and passing out resumes. excelling at filling out applications and lining up for interviews doesn’t necessarily lead to getting hired. just means you have crafted the art of making the right impression. and if you become truly expert, then you can lead symposiums and job fairs and talk to others about how to sell themselves in the current lean job market. so many tips to share and networking skills to build; why work when you can just talk about working . . . forever.
but i don’t want to talk anymore. don’t want to explain myself. don’t want to disclose my history. don’t want to think of three people i am not related to who could put in a good word for me. please can’t i just tidy something? push, pull, lift or shelve something for you? i am skilled at putting babies, snakes, and grown men to sleep. let me help! don’t you have cake needs? i am really good at supporting roles. really, truly.
i have to cut back on the cafe exploring and the late afternoon cappuccino. have to stretch my remaining money. luckily i have left-over party cupcakes flirting with me and at least another week of peet’s sumatra to see me through. and the sun will come out again; maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon.