In coffee on July 29, 2012 at 6:49 pm
i think the trick to getting the most out of our cool summers here is to insist on drinking our cappuccinos in cafes that offer outside seating. and then of course we’ll have to time it right so we are always on the sunny side of the street. i passed by the elmwood cafe in the morning as i was coasting down the hill from the derby street running track and noted that the outside tables were shady. i made a plan to return after my afternoon shift at the bookstore. my shift is only a few hours long but so full of silly drama that i always need a coffee afterwards.
the thief used to bring me a heidi-worthy gift of cheeseboard roll & cheese every saturday but has recently been told he is no longer allowed to bribe his favorites with food. he was caught stealing again but hasn’t been banned this time. the plan the managers came up with at the last meeting is to employ kindness; “kill him with kindness” the more bloodthirsty gals chortled. he invited me to a very selective feast but it was in a home up high on olympus and i am only a mere mortal and there is no way buster and i could have attempted that climb. yesterday he cursed and hollered because the bitch shoved him. weeks ago she was the one yelling as she told on the thief, insisting that she had seen him pocketing a pocketbook. i think i need a yard teacher’s whistle. for this senior citizen playground.
so after work i zip over to the elmwood and am rewarded with sunshine and a frothy double cappuccino in a french latte bowl. i noticed fresh-baked lemon tarts but didn’t indulge because we are still leaving room for food these days . . .
i reminisced about the last time i had a coffee here. it was last december with my best high school friend who had flown from france to say good bye to her father. it was so good to visit with her and i need to correspond with her more often. we all have those few stubborn friends who refuse to join the land of facebook so we have to make a little extra effort to catch them up on our silly lives. the couple next to me were speaking swiss-german. we all enjoyed our coffees and soaked up the late afternoon sun and i got to travel abroad a little without leaving town.
In coffee on July 17, 2012 at 11:25 am
the young people call it being polyamorous and we old timers think of it as keeping our dance card full. spring sprung my heart this year and now that a decade’s worth of dust has been blown off of this vital organ, i am eager to discover just how big and forgiving it can be. i finally notice how brave and open most people are all of the time and i am in awe. i am fidgeting on the edge of the grand playground waiting to be noticed; waiting for my turn. i suppose it’s an attempt to be authentic. we don’t have the time anymore at our age to keep trying to whittle ourselves down to fit what we think the other one wants. we are much more interested in being truthful and fully present. and boy do we enjoy all the sexy conversation about the things that matter to us.
not that juggling is easy. there are rules. like being discreet when you are not being discrete in a small community where everyone is checking in, sharing, and selecting that fun “like” button. and maybe asking first, “is there anyone in your life who will be hurt if you and i become close?” and knowing that you will fumble and drop balls. especially if you are drawn to selfish, recently freed-up fire signs in their fifties. and bracing yourself for the smarting caused by a dance card with too few time slots filled in. and the strenuous search for dance partners that support rather than diminish. it all began with one flashy dancer who pulled me close and made me feel all sparkly. i don’t want the music to stop.
In coffee on July 15, 2012 at 1:46 pm
so i broke up with cake. and loved ones demand an explanation. for in my case it’s not just forfeiting a food item, it is turning my back on a lifestyle, a culture, an interest close to my heart, and the reason i think i am popular at parties. people will always be happy to see me if i am bringing the sweet, yes? i’m sure my break-up is only temporary but at this moment in time cake is interfering with a rekindled desire to explore other flavors. kind co-workers stepped up with helpful tips about alternative cake recipes with sugar substitutions and i had to explain i have no hard feelings towards sugar. i’m just not interested right now. i want food. i want to relearn how to feed myself. with joy and pleasure, inching towards a belief that i deserve nourishment. cake tanja doesn’t want cake everyday; she wants seafood and tropical fruit and sunshine so that everyday is a vacation day. i want meals that take me to other lands without leaving town: switzerland, puerto rico, thailand . . . and then when my palette is refreshed and reawakened i will probaby need an incredible piece of fruity cake to celebrate my new life chapter. with good company and good coffee.