on the gad

there are no good questions

In coffee on September 6, 2018 at 1:12 pm

it was hot as hades in new york. we ducked into moma. for culture. for air conditioning. and for soy cappuccinos. we stopped by a help desk for directions and advice but the woman was ‘not in’. she had heard it all and no longer cared. having worked in customer service in one form or another my whole life i recognized the look in her eyes: there are no good questions.


i had been summoned across the land because kirya was taking me to court for not having a phone. judge john hodgman presiding. if you know how much i hate talking on phones and how far i will go to avoid it you can imagine how out of my element i was on a freaking podcast. it meant the world to me that the judge was as kind as he is funny. which is very. you can have a listen here: http://maximumfun.org/judge-john-hodgman/judge-john-hodgman-episode-380-dont-call-next-witness.

i am happy to report that working the counter at a bakery for these last two and a half years has not ruined hanging out in coffee shops for me. cherry on top is quality time spent with daughter. my daughter lets me follow her around the city like an imprinting baby duck. i am a little embarrassed that my new old-age dairy intolerance leads me to ask for vegan options. so obnoxious. but maybe we made up for it later when we went out for jamaican curried goat. and cocktails of course.




my brother in law lives less than a dozen blocks from me but the joke is that it is only when i (and my people) am moving about the planet that we bump into each other. so of course we are both boarding the same homeward bound plane in newark. he goes first because he is more fancy (just medium-fancy, he insists). as he rushes off his suitcase slips out of his hand and crashes to the floor. if i had an iphone i could have shared that on instagram. i am planning on going to an art museum downtown today like i am classy or something. if i had an iphone you could be sure my cardamom coffee and goodie would end up on instagram.



photos courtesy of kirya yvonne traber

  1. Oh wow! That made me laugh! You are so calm, self confident, and articulate Tanja! Kirya too but I expect that with all her theater experience and natural talent. You painted a wonderful picture of your life and being, and the judge sure appreciated it. You know I feel the same way you do about phones but haven’t yet taken the courageous steps to throw my phone away. Email is so much preferable. One has time to phrase things right, and without getting a sore ear. By the way, it’s lovely how quickly you respond to email. Some people take weeks. Without a cell phone how do you take such great photos? I’m still laughing. Scratch, scratch…

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