on the gad

polly put the kettle on

In coffee on July 17, 2012 at 11:25 am

the young people call it being polyamorous and we old timers think of it as keeping our dance card full. spring sprung my heart this year and now that a decade’s worth of dust has been blown off of this vital organ, i am eager to discover just how big and forgiving it can be. i finally notice how brave and open most people are all of the time and i am in awe. i am fidgeting on the edge of the grand playground waiting to be noticed; waiting for my turn. i suppose it’s an attempt to be authentic. we don’t have the time anymore at our age to keep trying to whittle ourselves down to fit what we think the other one wants. we are much more interested in being truthful and fully present. and boy do we enjoy all the sexy conversation about the things that matter to us.

not that juggling is easy. there are rules. like being discreet when you are not being discrete in a small community where everyone is checking in, sharing, and selecting that fun “like” button. and maybe asking first, “is there anyone in your life who will be hurt if you and i become close?” and knowing that you will fumble and drop balls. especially if you are drawn to selfish, recently freed-up  fire signs in their fifties. and bracing yourself for the smarting caused by a dance card with too few time slots filled in. and the strenuous search for dance partners that support rather than diminish. it all began with one flashy dancer who pulled me close and made me feel all sparkly. i don’t want the music to stop.

 

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